Why

Ripped a page out of my journal this a.m., scribbled, "I LOVE STORIES," stumbled to my wall and nailed the glaring letters above my desk. This is what its come to.  Months of writing, emotional roller coasters, sleepless nights, and questions, lots of questions that need an answer if I expect to keep going...

Why am  I in the woods?
Why is my laptop in front of me again?
Why have I been looking at these blank pages for hours?
Why the last three years?
Why the 1,000's of pages of rough drafts and deleted scenes?
Why am I doing this to myself?
Why me?

because... "I LOVE STORIES." for the sake of it, for the love of the action, the love of the expression, my own heart flowing onto a page.

Today, as the cycle continues, and I find my mind racing between the pages, overwhelmed by the magnitude of the project, I go back to what made me start. I love stories, because I love life and life flows out of me when I write.

What makes life flow out of you? Before you start anything, nail down your why, maybe literally to your wall. If it's real enough, honest enough, living inside you, it will sustain you.

Love it. Respect it. At the very least give it a chance. Your why is meant to change you.

Beginning the Creative Journey...

It's been a year since I've posted and almost that long since I've thought to look at my blog. Sometimes life gets away from me, or maybe the better way to put it is, I get away from life. 

It's thanksgiving today. Instead of being with my family I'm in the North Carolina mountains, screenplay writing...

Short Story: I asked the Lord what I should do after ministry school January 2009 and woke up with the answer March 2009. Write screenplays. I'd never considered it before but I self-studied for half a year, until I got a phone call from a friend. She knows an author looking for a good script for his book and said maybe this is what I'm studying for...three years later and several accomplishments under my belt (none of which are writing) I've finally decided to go after what has become a dream, no, a passion of mine. Not just film, but film with meaning, life. 

This blog is dedicated to my muse and now that I'm writing full-time it seems the stars have aligned and I'll finally be able to use it the way I intended, as a public platform for my creative process.

This is my 2nd month of writing. What I have learned so far: 

1. Writing blocks are real. They are not who we are, they are where we are and no writer should feel ashamed that their brain can't crap gold nuggets of inspiration on command.

2. Respect the process. I've become a friend of Donkey Kong and, "creative dates," with friends who are also on a creative process. Recently discovered a friend who is writing a book on creativity. (she's been a God-sent, for real) and I can write for days after meeting with her to just talk and hang-out

3. Keep going....always...no matter how slow...no matter how much you hate your own work...keep going.

4. Love, understand, forgive and accept yourself. This isn't about what you have to say, this is about what you have to learn. When it changes you, it will be ready to change the world.

5. Fear NOTHING. 

*these are all important but #5 is the most crippling, and it's taken me a long time to get. If your writing, if your doing anything that requires a piece of who you are, learn this one first. I suggest putting yourself in whatever situation your afraid of. exposure works.

....That's all for today. I'm about to sit down to a thanksgiving with a wonderful family letting me live with them in these mountains. Good luck in all your creative adventures.